How this can support parents of special needs children in coregulation
Draw Out: Intelligence is Inborn
We understand that everyone possesses intelligence. Howard Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences suggests that intelligence is not a single general ability, but a set of distinct modalities or “intelligences.”
“Learning problems are not diseases. They are ‘crossed wires’ in the communication network that connects a child to his world.” — Dr. Paul Dennison
I am deeply inspired by the founder of ADAPT, Mittur Alur, who was driven by the needs of her daughter Malini, who had cerebral palsy. Malini is now a double master’s degree holder and a published author. Her mother saw Malini’s intelligence and helped draw it out.
2️. Focus: Attention Follows Intelligence
We live in times when so much is automated—even our actions. But what if we take a pause and direct our focus—first on our own energy level, our state of mind, how grounded and centered we feel?
Focus on yourself first, because it all starts with us, and then focus on your child. If we focus on challenges, that’s what we’ll keep seeing. If we focus on strengths, that’s what we’ll notice—and keep noticing.
This brings us to the next principle.
3️. Notice: We Learn What We Actively Experience
“The essence of ignorance seems to be a failing to notice, and then failing to notice that we fail to notice.” — Sidney Callahan, Commonwealth Journal
Noticing is a vital skill. In the case of a child with special needs, noticing means offering respectful attention and consideration.
Ask yourself:
✅ What am I hearing? Feeling? Thinking?
✅ What am I feeling in my body as I observe, or even imitate, the child’s sounds and movements?
Does this awareness bring tension, anxiety, or relaxation? Can we refrain from fault-finding or comparisons? As we keep noticing, our observation skills become more refined, allowing us to perceive subtle cues beyond the obvious.
4️ Move to Learn: Growth is a Search for Balance; Imbalance is a Search for Growth
“Movement is the door to learning.” — Dr. Paul Dennison
The brain is experience made flesh. Movement is essential to learning. Any movement-based program that works with “the brain” addresses the entire mind-body system.
In early development, movements are reflexive and follow a predictable path. Truly integrated movement is efficient, strong, and graceful.
For children with special needs, their mind-body system may be stressed, and their movements—and thus their skills—may not be efficient or graceful. But the body can revisit and learn developmental patterns. The brain’s plasticity means it can reweave ignored or misinformed neural pathways, leading to greater functioning.
👉 It takes time. There is no magic fix. Brain integration is a process. Trust the process.
5️. Interconnect: Each of Us is Affected by Every Other
“What I do affects you. What you do affects me. What affects the Earth affects us all.”
We’re all familiar with the airline safety message: Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting your child. Our actions, words, and emotions affect others. Kindness ripples outward—so can anger, indifference, fear, and anxiety.
When we create an environment that supports authentic growth, learning becomes a natural and joyous activity that continues throughout life.
References:
Brain Gym® and Me -Reclaiming the Pleasure of Learning -Paul E. Dennison
Balance for Life -Brain Gym® 101 manual